"I Can’t Bexar Another 5k” 0.5k
About this race
The Big Deal
Join your fellow Slackers for a day, or 15 minutes of triumph, self-awareness, a COSPLAY-worthy contest.
The 3rd Annual “I Can’t Bexar Another 5k” 0.5k on October 18th, 2025, at 10:00am sharp (or close to it) starting at Burleson Yard Beer Garden and ending at Alamo Beer.
Remember to hydrate yourselves to prep for the grueling event. We have a training program upon request. Really.
We’ll finish at Alamo Beer. Now comes the celebration! You can take a whole bunch of selfies at our selfie “wall”, post them all over social media, even TikTok, and rub it in to your friends (if you even have any) that you’re a FINISHER!
We have a lazy option for you that are simply too lazy to walk the 543 yards. Simply indicate that you are truly a Slacker and too lazy at the registration, and we’ll mail you the swag. Lazy Participants will get the t-shirt, the pretentious sticker and a leather medal that doubles as a coaster – proof you finished the punishing “race”.
Goodies and Fun Stuff!
If you want a stylish, lavish, highly sought-after t-shirt on race you must register prior to October 10th. If you miss the gate, some shirts will be available two-three weeks after registration, so you’ll need to pick them up then. We’ll let you know when your ship (shirt) comes in. This is why we really do it, anyway.
The flashy oval 0.5k sticker shows your dedication to training and endurance for all to see. So, brag a little. Stick it right on your front windshield at eye-level so you can enjoy it too, along with the jealous glares of your fellow commuters as they meet you in the other lane.
“Medals”. EVERYONE gets one, and it’ll be the coolest one you ever got. It doubles as a coaster, so when you entertain friends, you can passive-aggressively brag.
We will continue to have a rejuvenation station, first aid (not really-if you need it, it’s on you), and the smoking area at the halfway mark. We decided to have this due to the difficulty level of the “race” for your own safety.
There’s also the very competitive, popular vote individual and group costume contests with prizes. Dress up in anything fun or stupid. If you’re even considering this, you probably already have a costume in your secret closet.
Post- “race” celebration and victory party is at Alamo Beer, where they’re opening early just for us, and because they recognize the importance of hydration and a free beer. Yay! It’s Alamo Beer’s SPOOKTOBERFEST celebration, and they’ll have porta-potties. Only the best for you.
VIP Option is for those that don't feel you can make it the full 543 yards. If you think you are too important to run (walk), for an additional only $15, you can ride to the finish line on the tailgate of a snappy Dodge 3500 Dually, you big spender, you! Only the best for you. AND you’ll get a special lanyard that sets you apart from everyone else. Only the best for you.
You get your free beer at the finish. You may get only one free beer, but you can always buy more of Alamo Beer’s special SPOOKTOBERFEST beer, so please think about an Uber or DD. Seriously.
Volunteers. Yeah, you. We need you. Simply sign up for it at the link that says “Volunteer”. You still get all the swag and can drive over the finish line. Only the best for you.
Military are eligible for volunteer credit, and high schooler eligible for Community Service. We’ll provide all that’s required for the credit.
Register before Oct 12th to guarantee the swag.
Pick your distance
Walking
"I Can’t Bexar Another 5k” 0.5k
0.5k Training Plan Greatness does best with company. In fact, just go ahead on and sign yourself up and your friends right now while you’re thinking about it. You can come back to this after. Or come by yourself…this is a judgement free zone. Believe me. Having a team will build accountability while you set your training milestones before October 31st. If you want to be able to complete the exhausting 0.5K course, you’ll need to be in the best shape of your life. (OK, maybe not…but you’ll need to some kind of shape…round, square, pear, rhombus, dodecahedron…any shape will do.) Here is an inspirational quote to motivate you glory-seeking 0.5K participants - “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” —Edward Bergen Make sure you like the people on your team. Actually, you don’t even need to like them. We just want you to bring them along so they can also experience the feeling of greatness. Oh-and don’t forget to actually sign up. Stick to a Training Plan. How long is half of one kilometer? It’s roughly 700 steps for a normal-sized human. Dedication. Determination. Domination. Those are the three D’s that take longer to say than it does to finish a 0.5K. Discipline is another word that starts with D, it’s not really a requirement for this “race”. Music Sounds Like a Good Idea. Music is helpful for fitness, or so I’ve heard. Not much into this fitness thing, unless it’s “I can still fitness pants, so I don’t have to buy another size”. I can’t think of anything else to say at this point. Just go sign up for the race so you don’t forget about it. Seriously. Sign up. Oh yeah -try Stretching, maybe. My high school gym teacher said that stretching is good to do for fitness things. We think you should try it, but don’t go crazy. Only a couple of yawns re-race should do it. Why stretch? You’ll need to stay limber so that you can reach out your arm and grab your participation medal at the end of the race, and then reach out your other arm and grab your free beer. We’ll have a T-shirt and swag bag there for you, too. But you won’t get any of this if you don’t sign up.
Typical race-day weather
Based on 9 years of Open-Meteo archive data for this event's race dates in San Antonio, plus the 3 days either side.
The sun rises at 7:46 AM and sets at 6:48 PM local time (CDT) in San Antonio on October 31, 2026 — 11h 02m of daylight.
Course
No course map published yet.
The organizer hasn't released a route for this event, and we don't publish guesses. If you're the organizer, send us a GPX file and we'll draw the profile.
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Where this page comes from. Race details were last updated on . We re-check listings regularly and again in the week before race day.
- Entries, prices, waves and inclusions — the event's official registration page
- Temperature and humidity — Copernicus ERA5 reanalysis via Open-Meteo (CC BY 4.0)
- Elevation and terrain relief — Copernicus DEM GLO-90, ESA (CC BY 4.0)
- Comparisons and counts — Race Discovery calendar, 249 San Antonio events
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